Worst things you can hear from your caddie in 5 words or less…

Just for fun, we asked our followers in @CaddieNetwork Twitter land to share with us “the worst things you can hear from your caddie in 5 words or less.”
Apparently, this topic hit a chord! We received hundreds of great answers, including some from PGA Tour caddies, LPGA players, a Masters champion and more.
Here’s a compilation of our favorites.
PODCAST: Listen to our latest episode of ‘Under the Strap’ with longtime caddie Steve Hulka
If you want to add your offering to the list, click here to get to the thread.
Here we go…
“Not sure what’s over there.” — @BGMull
“Stop being a headcase.” — @DrewCarr_
“You’d better hit a provisional.” — @TrevorImmelman (yes, THAT Trevor Immelman – the 2008 Masters Champion)
“You’ve played before?” — @Whiskey_Pines
“’I touched the sand’ (too soon?)” — @amandagolf59
“Take your time on that.” — @Bryceledford
“’For the provisional’ ….as he tosses you an extra ball as you walk up to the tee.” — @SJgolfer
“Your wife needs you home!” — @AroundClowning
“We are out of balls.” — @hannahbggg
“Play it safe here” https://t.co/UhjG2NIscD
— Madison Leigh (@MulliganMads) August 19, 2020
“Dude, your swing sucks.” — @GolfTravelerJoe
“This is fun for you?” — @jclarke2120
“Don’t hit it there.” — @Kendall_Dye
I lost the putter cover
— John Rathouz (@Rathouz) August 19, 2020
“That was 175 not 157 oops!” — @jamo116
“Beer cart has a flat.” — @BamaBelleCHS
“You can get that there?” — @LiciousLounge
“You can carry this.” — @woodrow_73
“Naked under coveralls.” — @CHI2COL
“Better hit another one.” — @BenTaylor_88
1. My plums are so sweaty!
2. One time…. at Caddie Camp!
3. No 3 putt today please!
4. You can’t handle the truth!
5. You hit wrong ball again!#golftalk
— SJWillow (@MakeBirdiePutt) August 19, 2020
“It does not open up.” — @TGolfer83
“Yep, another damn three putt.” — @4a_of
“You have 15 clubs still?” — @Evan__Gale
“Your tip is not sufficient.” — @tkcaddie
“Never saw it”
“Get down, sit, settle”
“Has to hit the hole”
“Everything you got”
“Halway house is closed”
“Were out of beers”
“Fried egg”
“Plugged”
“Lost it off tee”— Bryan Dell (@broc112) August 19, 2020
“Have you got a spare?” — @tincup65
“Fulty saying, ‘I want to break something.’ Caddie: ‘How about breaking par?’” — @LennyHartlage
“Caddie, ‘Will I get there with a 7 iron?’ ‘Yes sir, eventually.’” — @TheMedium_Easy
“’Oh Lord, we’ve killed someone.’ True story, North Berwick 1996.” — @RetiredTN_TMan
In off the left. https://t.co/jd7viOC0uk
— Aaron Flener (@AaronFlener) August 19, 2020
“I could make that shot.” — @BrannonBesse
“Sorry, I didn’t see it.” — @CastanoDan
“I bet on your opponent.” — @GolfTilDeath
“That tree isn’t in play.” — @mclayton1970
“You rake, I’ll find it.” — @musingmanAG
“Dude I lost your putter.” — @Kr4zyD
This is your last ball
Oops, that yardage was incorrect
This is the hardest hole
This is the easiest hole
It’s faster than “you think”🤔
I forgot the umbrella ☔️
My book fell in PortaJohn
I gotta go poop 💩
That’s a gimme
This putt is easy
That’s dead over there
— ted scott (@jtedscott) August 19, 2020
“It’s outta bounds.” — @AngryYankee1
“Towel? The towel is gone.” — @CadillacsHair
“You’re still away!” — @peter_pettit
“Ya, that’s not even close” https://t.co/W1yxa4xKSr
— Mattie-Lou Chandler (@MattieLouC) August 19, 2020
“Hit whatever, it doesn’t matter.” — @EnsGDT
“Told you so.” — @bradleysweigel
“Never seen that happen before.” — @mcgowan27
“You don’t got this shot.” — @LewRosa3
“You should’ve listened to me.” — @kerlllllll
“Thought about taking up tennis?” — @1GR8Putt
“That’s dead! Hit another one.” — @WaskieM3
“I think you should drink.” — @michael28683803
“Call 911. He’s probably dead.” — @GreenbbsERdo
“At least you tried it.” — @swang111
"the cut line just moved" https://t.co/LHi5AoIsbQ
— John Brennan (@BergenBrennan) August 19, 2020
“I’m not walking over there.” — @kevin_demsky
“We can watch football Sunday.” — @the______1
“Take this, just in case.” — @GeoffArtis
“Just hit the damn ball.” — @mikebdisupe
“I was watching the water.” — @PMV87276439
For reference:
“I was watching the water, it’s nice.”
Jordan Smith and his caddie mic’d up 😂#CelticClassic #GolfForGood pic.twitter.com/VtcGsey0jK
— DP World Tour (@DPWorldTour) August 17, 2020
“That’s 3 minutes up boss.” — @GusTheCaddie88
“It could do that too.” — @40forty
“You’re gonna need to reload.” — @DRose62
“You missed your tee time.” — @Djcarter78
“Flights booked for Friday night.” — @pooley57
“Say hi to the snakes.” — @derbycaddy
“Take two clubs more dude.” — @Lilgolfjock
“That? That’s in the gorse.” — @jshorns03
Hold your breath ball… https://t.co/ks0mUALqW9
— Trent (@TrentFields8482) August 19, 2020
“I’m not looking for it.” — @chipslaughter
“Nobody has hit it there.” — @MarkGodich
“That’s good for you.” — @swang111
“I’ve never seen that before.” — @FredWW4
“That’s not your golf ball!” — @Joe90mclellan
I’m gonna go forecaddie… (even more so on a par 3) https://t.co/M84NkS1kMf
— J Mills (@Jmills1206) August 19, 2020
“Where’s that been all day?” — @govolx
“Just hit it and hope.” — @Debitcash29
“Told you… long is dead.” — @CoreyWahoo
“OB left, water right.” — @TwoDownAutos
Your mortgage payment is due WHEN?!
Take some clubs, I’ll see you back in the fairway..