Worst things you can hear from your caddie in 5 words or less…

Joel Dahmen and caddie Geno Bonnalie always seem to be having fun on the golf course. Surely there are some great lines between these two on a daily basis. Credit: Christopher Hanewinckel-USA TODAY Sports

Just for fun, we asked our followers in @CaddieNetwork Twitter land to share with us “the worst things you can hear from your caddie in 5 words or less.”

Apparently, this topic hit a chord! We received hundreds of great answers, including some from PGA Tour caddies, LPGA players, a Masters champion and more.

Here’s a compilation of our favorites.

PODCAST: Listen to our latest episode of ‘Under the Strap’ with longtime caddie Steve Hulka

If you want to add your offering to the list, click here to get to the thread.

Here we go…

“Not sure what’s over there.” — @BGMull

“Stop being a headcase.” — @DrewCarr_

“You’d better hit a provisional.” — @TrevorImmelman (yes, THAT Trevor Immelman – the 2008 Masters Champion)

“You’ve played before?” — @Whiskey_Pines

“’I touched the sand’ (too soon?)” — @amandagolf59

“Take your time on that.” — @Bryceledford

“’For the provisional’ ….as he tosses you an extra ball as you walk up to the tee.” — @SJgolfer

“Your wife needs you home!” — @AroundClowning

“We are out of balls.” — @hannahbggg


“Dude, your swing sucks.” — @GolfTravelerJoe

“This is fun for you?” — @jclarke2120

“Don’t hit it there.” — @Kendall_Dye

“That was 175 not 157 oops!” — @jamo116

“Beer cart has a flat.” — @BamaBelleCHS

“You can get that there?” — @LiciousLounge

“You can carry this.” — @woodrow_73

“Naked under coveralls.” — @CHI2COL

“Better hit another one.” — @BenTaylor_88

“It does not open up.” — @TGolfer83

“Yep, another damn three putt.” — @4a_of

“You have 15 clubs still?” — @Evan__Gale

“Your tip is not sufficient.” — @tkcaddie

“Have you got a spare?” — @tincup65

“Fulty saying, ‘I want to break something.’ Caddie: ‘How about breaking par?’” — @LennyHartlage

“Caddie, ‘Will I get there with a 7 iron?’ ‘Yes sir, eventually.’” — @TheMedium_Easy

“’Oh Lord, we’ve killed someone.’ True story, North Berwick 1996.” — @RetiredTN_TMan

“I could make that shot.” — @BrannonBesse

“Sorry, I didn’t see it.” — @CastanoDan

“I bet on your opponent.” — @GolfTilDeath

“That tree isn’t in play.” — @mclayton1970

“You rake, I’ll find it.” — @musingmanAG

“Dude I lost your putter.” — @Kr4zyD


“It’s outta bounds.” — @AngryYankee1

“Towel? The towel is gone.” — @CadillacsHair

“You’re still away!” — @peter_pettit

“Hit whatever, it doesn’t matter.” — @EnsGDT

“Told you so.” — @bradleysweigel

“Never seen that happen before.” — @mcgowan27

“You don’t got this shot.” — @LewRosa3

“You should’ve listened to me.” — @kerlllllll

“Thought about taking up tennis?” — @1GR8Putt

“That’s dead! Hit another one.” — @WaskieM3

“I think you should drink.” — @michael28683803

“Call 911.  He’s probably dead.” — @GreenbbsERdo

“At least you tried it.” — @swang111

“I’m not walking over there.” — @kevin_demsky

“We can watch football Sunday.” — @the______1

“Take this, just in case.” — @GeoffArtis

“Just hit the damn ball.” — @mikebdisupe

“I was watching the water.” — @PMV87276439

For reference:


“That’s 3 minutes up boss.” — @GusTheCaddie88

“It could do that too.” — @40forty

“You’re gonna need to reload.” — @DRose62

“You missed your tee time.” — @Djcarter78

“Flights booked for Friday night.” — @pooley57

“Say hi to the snakes.” — @derbycaddy

“Take two clubs more dude.” — @Lilgolfjock

“That? That’s in the gorse.” — @jshorns03

“I’m not looking for it.” — @chipslaughter

“Nobody has hit it there.” — @MarkGodich

“That’s good for you.” — @swang111

“I’ve never seen that before.” — @FredWW4

“That’s not your golf ball!” — @Joe90mclellan

“Where’s that been all day?” — @govolx

“Just hit it and hope.” — @Debitcash29

“Told you… long is dead.” — @CoreyWahoo

“OB left, water right.” — @TwoDownAutos


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